Honoring Sam’s Life and Legacy: A Father’s Tribute to His Son
Sam said it all when he chose to end his life here on Earth, May 19th of 2025. Other than immediately following his passing, I have chosen not to speak publicly about this catastrophic event over the past year - until now. I think about Sam often and wonder what his life might have looked like should he’d had what he needed when he needed it most. What I’ve come up with regarding the main reason for his hasty departure is that some of the people closest to him who he had trusted and relied on simply let him down in the most unbearable of ways. Myself included. This came in the form of some of his closest friends tragically losing their lives as well as simply not getting the necessary support he required to battle his demons and unrelenting trauma.
I am definitely not beating myself up about any of this, but the facts are the facts and I must forever live with those irrefutable facts.
Sam was by far one of the smartest if not the smartest person I’ve known. On top of his incredible intelligence and keen insights, was his selfless, kind and caring nature to the point where all his friends regularly sought him out for comfort and counsel. He aligned himself with a rag-tag bunch who like him did not seem to fit into a world of such contrived inequality and lacking in social consciousness. Sam was also very funny with a quick wit and a disarming way about him. I remember him mentioning to me once that he was interested in pursuing stand-up comedy. I could not have been any happier to hear that and can now totally see him on stage holding a mic and laughing at himself and the absurdity of the world. He also had a potently creative mind with a deep connection and love of playing music plus the ability to draw much like his birth-mother, Tressa. It was not until I made this video that I was finally able to see just how well he had mastered playing the guitar.
The possibilities for Sam’s future were infinite and blindingly bright under a more favorable set of circumstances.
I have a few specific memories of Sam that stand-out from the rest which I will not share here, but know that his character was of the highest good and he always thought of others before himself. I do not have the luxury of early memories of Sam as I’ve subconsciously trained my brain to forget a lot of my own past (primarily childhood) in exchange for eliminating latent trauma and remaining in the present moment. However, this system modification has served to be a double-edged sword robbing me of many experiences with Sam as a little boy other than the few most memorable ones that have squeaked through. Unfortunately, I mostly recall the on-going, excruciating pain and struggles of his early adulthood. Believe me, if I had the chance to do it all again, I would certainly make some different choices knowing what I now know.
Thank you Sam for those memories I’ve held onto that defined you as a person. I’m both grateful and honored that you chose me above all others to be your father.
I love you to the moon and stars.
Dad
